Spot love‐bombing before it squeezes you dry
You move to a new city and meet Clara, who seems to adore you instantly. She dotes on every detail—your laugh, your ideas, even your choice of coffee. Within days she’s texting you at midnight, praising your smallest achievements. At first you feel flattered: it’s rare to meet someone so invested in you. But by the second week, her messages stop whenever you don’t immediately answer. You realize she only cares when it suits her. That’s love-bombing: the intense affection that pulls you close, then lets go when you don’t obey.
Psychologists have shown love-bombers alternate extreme kindness with sudden absence to keep you off balance. Genuine bonds build gradually and consistently—no roller-coaster. Today, when praise arrives too fast, pause and recognize the pattern. You’ll spot the trap before you’re totally under their thumb.
Next time you notice an avalanche of praise, pause and ask yourself what they’re really after. Jot down their recent compliments versus the moments they vanished. When you see that pattern, protect your time and your feelings by stepping back. Remind yourself—real friendship doesn’t rise and crash overnight.
What You'll Achieve
You’ll feel secure in recognizing and pausing manipulative affection, preserving healthy relationships and preventing emotional exhaustion.
Check for emotional flooding
Track extremes of affection
Notice if someone’s praise or compliments suddenly skyrocket without context. Real affection builds over time, not in one day.
Pause before reciprocating
When you receive grand gestures, spend an extra minute weighing their motives—ask yourself, “What do they want?”
Look for sudden withdrawal
After intense affection, does your contact vanish? Genuine friends don’t vanish the moment demands are unmet.
Reflection Questions
- When was the last time someone’s attention felt overwhelming?
- Have you noticed patterns of sudden withdrawal after compliments?
- How does unpredictable affection make you feel, and why?
- What boundaries can you set to protect your emotions?
Personalization Tips
- At work a coworker gushes over your every idea, then withdraws your project budget when you ask for feedback.
- A new romantic partner flirts nonstop then goes silent once you plan a weekend getaway.
- A fellow volunteer showers you with thanks until you stop joining late-night events.
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