You play secret roles that protect your wounded child inside

You may think you’re just yourself—funny, reliable, hardworking. But inside you lurks a little being you stopped listening to when you were small. That part learned early ways to keep you safe: a ‘Caretaker’ who knew love only when giving, an ‘Overachiever’ who won praise by excelling, or a ‘Chameleon’ who melted into any group to avoid conflict.

Those roles still set the stage in your relationships: you bail out a partner, you burn out at work, or you stay silent when you want to speak up. It’s not your fault; it’s a remnant of a time when you needed to fight, flee, freeze, or please to feel safe. Yet now those same instincts hold you back from genuine connection.

By spotting your inner child’s roles, journaling a scene, and calling that child by name, you regain choice. Next time ‘Busy Bee’ leaps forward to tidy your friend’s messy desk, you’ll gently pause and remind yourself you don’t have to fix everything. With one small boundary, you’ll relax phantom threads from the past. You’ll sleep and laugh more freely—and open your heart to new ways of being loved.

You start by scanning the seven familiar childhood roles—like the Overachiever or the Rescuer—to spot which one still drives most of your interactions. Then you capture a quick journal moment, replaying a recent scene in which you defaulted to that role. Naming that part—‘Little Helper’ or ‘Miss Perfect’—brings it into the light, where it stops hijacking your choices. Finally, you test one gentle boundary—maybe saying “I’ll get back to you” before offering help—and notice how it frees your energy. Give it a try tonight.