Hold your heroes accountable while keeping your core intact

You’ve spent years listening to her lyrics—her words shaped your college years and soundtracked heartbreaks and first loves. Then headlines break: she’s accused of insensitivity or worse. Suddenly, the voice you cherished feels tainted.

You don’t want to lose that soundtrack, but you can’t ignore the allegations either. On your bedspread, you write two sentences: “Her lyrics speak to my soul and taught me to feel deeply.” And “Her private actions conflict with my belief that people should treat others with respect.” Reading them side by side feels like walking a tightrope.

Then you decide what behavior crosses your line—was it a poorly chosen joke or something far more harmful? You identify the threshold where you’ll stop pressing play, but also the threshold where you can keep listening with respectful awareness.

Philosophers call this the integrity problem: how do you stay true to your own values when your heroes let you down? Holding both admiration and dissent in mind lets you keep the parts of the art that moved you, while refusing to excuse behavior that hurts others.

You’ve paired admiration with criticism, capturing exactly what you value and what you reject. Now commit to one action: either keep supporting the work with mindful boundaries or step away when your line is crossed. By honoring both truths, you preserve your integrity and your identity. Test this approach the next time new information surfaces about someone you once idolized.