Master Your Sphincters to Control Unwanted Urges
You’re halfway through a movie night when the familiar rumble in your gut demands urgent action. Your mind flashes: ‘Go now.’ But your external sphincter, a devoted gatekeeper, whispers back: ‘Not quite.’ You pause, noticing the hush in the room, the soft lines on your friend’s face lit by the television glow. Tension swells—yet you breathe, gently tracing your awareness to the muscles under your control.
As you focus on contracting and relaxing that outer ring, it becomes clear: your gut and your mind are in conversation. It’s not just about rushing off to the bathroom; it’s a moment to feel how perfectly these two systems sync when you give them permission. The inner sphincter waits, the outer one watches the room, and you, in the center, feel the subtle artistry of timing and balance.
This pause is more than a bodily trick—it’s a practice in mindful presence. You learn to honor both your body’s signals and the social moment you’re in. This ‘stop-go’ dance between two guardians beneath your belly button is the quiet meeting place of the unconscious and conscious—a gentle reminder that every urge can be invited, observed, and guided.
You notice the first gentle urge and pause—feel the shift between internal and external sphincters. With a single soft squeeze you steady your body, mindfully choose your timing, and then let go only when it feels just right. This mindful squeeze becomes your moment of calm contradiction, teaching you the power of a breath, a pause, and then the smooth release.
What You'll Achieve
You’ll gain control over sudden urges, reduce bathroom anxiety, and feel more present in social and private moments by strengthening the bidirectional communication between your mind and gut.
Practice Your ‘Stop-Go’ Squeeze
Identify your toilet reflex pattern.
Sit comfortably and notice the pressure below. Recognize the moment your internal sphincter lets a tiny ‘taster’ through.
Pause and assess surroundings.
Imagine you’re on the couch watching TV with friends. Take two seconds before deciding to fully ‘go’ or ‘hold back.’ This mirrors your brain’s quick social check.
Alternate sphincter squeezes.
Practice lightly contracting external and internal sphincters in a 3-second rhythm. This builds communication between the ‘nervous selves.’
Time your ‘test bites’.
Notice how long you can comfortably ‘release a taster’ before you need to contract again. Gradually increase that interval to train your gut-brain loop.
Reflection Questions
- How often do you rush when your body signals an urge—and what reaction does that trigger emotionally?
- What small mindfulness cues could help you create a moment’s pause before you respond?
- How might your confidence change if you could trust your body to wait until the timing is right?
- Can you recall a time you held back discomfort—what did your body teach you in that moment?
Personalization Tips
- During an office meeting, take a discreet pause before you dash to the restroom to strengthen your decision window.
- Next time you hear the baby cry, test how you can temporarily ‘hold back’ the urge—helping you fine-tune your gut–brain control.
- In yoga class, use your pelvic floor exercises as a way to tune into your external sphincter’s power.
Gut: The Inside Story of Our Body’s Most Underrated Organ
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