Use differences to trade smart instead of splitting the difference

People assume differences cause fights, then try to erase them by splitting the difference. The better move is to use differences to create value. If you care more about speed and they care more about certainty, you can design a plan that gives you speed where it matters and gives them certainty where it matters. If you like risk and they don’t, you can trade risk for revenue with contingent terms that adjust as reality unfolds.

Consider scheduling and fees. A consultant wants payment tied to results; the client wants a predictable budget. They design a fee with a modest base plus a clearly defined success bonus. Another example: licensing a product where the manufacturer fears a big upfront fee but is happy to pay more once sales climb. Tie higher rates to revenue above a threshold; low rates while risk is high. Now both have reasons to cheer success.

A micro‑anecdote: two roommates divided chores miserably until they listed what they hated least. One liked cooking but loathed dishes; the other didn’t mind dishes and liked vacuuming. They traded, then set a rule that if one was traveling, the other could bank credits instead of arguing.

The underlying mechanics: ask for preferences to expose the shape of value, not just whether an option is acceptable. Use contingent contracts to align incentives across different forecasts and risk appetites. Price protection and upside explicitly so neither side feels tricked. This is how you dovetail—by letting differences do the work rather than forcing sameness that satisfies no one.

List where your values, timing, and risk appetites truly differ. Offer two or three packages you’d accept and ask which they prefer to expose where dovetailing is possible. Then suggest contingent terms that trade risk for upside or speed for certainty, and write clear formulas so both sides see the fairness. Use differences to build a bigger pie instead of slicing the current one thinner. Try this on your next deal with uneven priorities.