Turn hardball into collaboration using negotiation jujitsu and a one‑text draft

A small nonprofit needed space for summer programs. The building manager opened with a hard line: “Full rate, no exceptions.” The director felt the urge to argue but switched tactics. “Help me understand—what goal does the full rate protect?” The manager named two interests: covering fixed costs and avoiding a precedent that would flood them with discount requests. The director wrote both on a notepad in full view.

Instead of selling a discount, the director floated a rough option: “What if we took late afternoons when the rooms are empty and provided custodial help?” Then came the key question, “What would be wrong with this?” The manager’s pen started moving. “We’d need proof of staffing, no weekends, and a way to say this is an off‑peak pilot, not a discount.” The director captured each as constraints to design around, not personal attacks. The room felt different.

They shifted to a one‑text process. The director drafted a single‑page proposal. Each time they met, they criticized the paper, not each other—tweaking hours, adding a cap on room turnover, linking the pilot to end‑of‑summer metrics. A micro‑anecdote sealed the deal: the director shared how a similar pilot at a community center led to paid evening programs the next year. The manager could imagine reporting that success upstairs.

This is negotiation jujitsu. You redirect force by translating positions into interests, asking for criticism, and using questions plus silence to open space. The one‑text method reduces face‑loss and limits the number of decisions to one: yes or no to the latest draft. It’s a game change from arguing people to jointly shaping a document that meets visible interests and clear constraints.

When you hit a wall, name the goals their position protects and put them on a page both of you can see. Offer a tentative idea, then ask what’s wrong with it and treat every objection as a helpful constraint. Use honest questions and quiet to keep things thoughtful. Finally, suggest a one‑text draft you’ll revise together until it’s the best balance you can both stand behind. This turns a fight into a design session. Try it on your next tough back‑and‑forth.