Build Lasting Bonds by Moving Slowly and Deliberately

The mere-exposure effect makes new faces feel familiar the more we encounter them. Jeff Hall’s research found it takes roughly fifty hours to move from acquaintance to casual friend, ninety to become a true friend, and two hundred to reach close-friend status. Think of your last party you barely remembered—maybe you exchanged just a handful of words. That’s a low-exposure scenario.

Contrast that with a cooking class you attend every Tuesday. At first, the same faces across the table are strangers. By week four, you’re laughing over spilled sauce. By week ten, you’re swapping family recipes and childcare tips. Without realizing it, you’ve logged nearly forty hours together.

In one study, participants introduced to the same person over forty different media exposures—video, email, posters—rated them as friendlier than those who met just once. It’s not mere convenience; it’s the brain cementing trust through repetition.

So slow your roll. Resist the one-hour network mixer where you meet twenty people at once and exchange quick business cards. Instead, pick one person and see them again and again. The ritual of repetition builds shared memories, trust, and intimacy. It’s a scientifically proven roadmap to lasting friendship.

First, choose one acquaintance you’d like to know better. Then commit to a recurring meetup—maybe a weekly walk or a monthly art swap. Each visit adds exposure hours to your friendship, and you’ll naturally collect stories and shared interests. Every quarter, pause and review how far you’ve come. This steady, deliberate approach leverages the mere-exposure effect to grow deep trust and true companionship. Start your slow-build today.