How secret rules silently sabotage your finish

At age twenty, I decided to learn karate, picturing black-belt glory. Three years later I dropped at blue belt—thirty-six levels from my dream—because I thought anything less than perfect was worthless. I’d believed a secret rule: “If I can’t do it flawlessly, why bother?” One afternoon, my instructor observed me tearing through a beginner drill and said, “John, why rush complexity when you’ve never mastered the basics?”

His question pierced through my pride. I realized I’d been chasing an imaginary finish line built on perfection. That rule—“perfection only counts”—undermined every effort. I spent a month writing down every limiting belief I could recall: “I’m not cut out for martial arts,” “Winners never quit,” “Pain means progress.” I confronted each one, asking, “Who said this must be true?” I then wrote kinder creeds—“Learning happens inch by inch.”

Within weeks, I started enjoying the practice again and even knocked out a few brown-belt katas. I didn’t conquer karate, but I conquered perfectionism. The shift taught me how powerful hidden rules are and how one simple mindset tweak can open the door from chronic starting to consistent finishing.

Notice the secret “musts” you follow, ask aloud “Who says that?”, then rewrite each into a flexible, finish-friendly rule and tell a trusted friend. Each new creed weakens perfectionism’s grip so finishing feels easy rather than impossible.