Use a triple-column log to defuse any harsh thought

You’re drained after that argument, and the words still ring in your head: “You deserve to fail.” Your heart sinks as thoughts spiral: “I’m worthless.” Literally within seconds, pull out a pad and draw three columns. In the left column write that self-beating line. In the middle, underline its trap—labeling, all-or-nothing, pick your poison.

You stare at the third column, blank at first, until you catch yourself. “Everyone stumbles sometimes,” you write. “I’ve learned so much from past mistakes.” As you speak those words aloud they ring truer than your inner critic’s scream. Already your posture relaxes, your chest opens, and you don’t feel like a failure—just human.

You close your notebook with a nod. That simple practice rewired your mind. No amount of self-flagellation can compare to the power of evidence-based self-defense.

Next time your inner critic rear its ugly head, grab a notebook and divide it into three. Write the thought, name the distortion, then offer a real-world counterargument—maybe a past success or a fresh perspective. You’ll feel your shoulders drop and your confidence reignite. Give it a go at your next low moment.