Trade ego for allies and multiply your team’s firepower

A software team was assigned to support a hospital’s new intake kiosk. On their first day onsite, badges were crooked, hoodies up, and laptops open during the nurse huddle. It wasn’t malicious, but it sent the wrong message. The nursing supervisor folded her arms, and IT looked wary. By lunch, questions were short and help was minimal.

The lead developer paused and reset. The next morning, the team arrived early, put on the visitor scrubs they’d been offered, and joined the safety briefing with phones away. “What would be most useful from us this week?” the lead asked. A nurse said the printer jammed constantly. Two engineers spent the morning fixing it and documenting the steps. It wasn’t glamorous, but the room thawed. Someone brought in extra coffee.

They asked for a 20‑minute red‑team session on the kiosk flow. The nurses flagged the triage question that confused patients, and the fix cut wait time by six minutes. The lead posted a note on the project page thanking the hospital IT manager by name for a firewall change that sped updates. It cost nothing, except ego. The partnership clicked, and the rollout landed on time.

This is applied humility and reciprocity. Mirroring local standards reduces status threat, which drops defensiveness. Offering help before advice creates a bank of trust. Sharing credit taps social exchange theory, making future cooperation more likely. Inviting critique spreads ownership of the outcome. All together, the group moves from ‘us versus them’ to ‘we,’ which is where real speed lives.

When you enter another team’s space, match their visible standards to signal respect. Ask what would truly help them this week and do that first to earn trust. Then invite them to red‑team your plan, listening closely and folding in changes so it’s clearly our plan, not yours. Share credit publicly for specific wins to cement the partnership. It’s not a performance, it’s a choice to lower friction and increase combined firepower. Try this on your next cross‑team kickoff.