The Quiet Question That Dismantles Any Overconfident Opinion
Jordan, a project lead at a small startup, was stuck in a stalemate with his team. They insisted the new software wouldn’t integrate with their workflows. At their next meeting, he simply asked, “What do you know about how this API actually works?”
A hush fell. One engineer admitted she had only skimmed the documentation. Another confessed they hadn’t tested the integration beyond the demo environment. The room’s energy shifted from confrontation to curiosity. Jordan handed out the specs and walked them through real examples.
By questioning the knowledge underpinning their objections, he defused defensiveness without an argument. They moved from “we’re right” to “we need more information.” It was a subtle move that felt almost too easy—no one lost face, yet the blocker dissolved.
This approach rests on the principle that beliefs grounded in shallow evidence crumble under inquiry. By inviting others to reveal the roots of their certainty, you open the door for fact-based reconsideration and collaborative problem-solving.
Next time you hit an impasse, note the objection and craft a “What do you know” question around it. In your conversation, ask the question, then stay quiet until you hear their full explanation. Use that moment to share accurate details or invite them to explore resources together. This gentle challenge often shifts the dynamic from conflict to curiosity and creates space for constructive solutions. Try it at your next team review.
What You'll Achieve
You’ll defuse defensiveness and open minds to new information. Internally you’ll feel more control and less conflict; externally your proposals will face less opposition and win wider support.
Use Inquiry to Weaken Blind Certainty
List common objections
Write down recurring opinions or criticisms you face, such as “It won’t work” or “I already know enough.”
Frame with “What do you know”
Preface a question with “What do you know about...” and add their belief as context to prompt them to justify their stance.
Pause and listen
After asking, stay silent. Let them struggle to articulate their foundation—this often reveals gaps in their reasoning.
Bridge with facts
Use their admission to present new information or evidence that fills those gaps and reshapes their perspective.
Reflection Questions
- Which of your assumptions deserve deeper inquiry?
- How comfortable are you asking for others’ sources of knowledge?
- What blind spots might you uncover with this technique?
Personalization Tips
- During a debate on school policy, ask “What do you know about the data on attendance rates?”
- In a sales pitch, say “What do you know about our recent case studies?”
- When a friend dismisses a hobby, ask “What do you know about how it benefits stress relief?”
Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact
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