When ‘fun’ stops being fun, your value hierarchy has changed—use it

Maya loved being the last one to leave the party. It used to feel electric. Lately, the music is the same, but the next morning feels hollow. One Saturday, she helps a cousin prep for college applications. They laugh over messy drafts, and she heads home with a calm, steady warmth. Monday at work, the glow lingers. When a friend texts about a midweek club night, she hesitates and notices something interesting: the hesitation isn’t fear, it’s disinterest.

She audits her past month and sees a pattern. Nights that scored high on excitement rarely carried over. Moments that scored high on meaning were quiet: giving feedback to a teammate, finishing a tricky data wrangle, helping with those essays. She names two values that keep showing up—growth and care—and scribbles them on a sticky note. The party invites don’t stop, but their pull dims.

Maya adds friction to the old fun. She unfollows a few accounts, moves the rideshare app off her home screen, and sets a 30‑minute social limit. Then she schedules two value-aligned actions: a Saturday volunteer shift and a Wednesday deep‑work block. The first week feels odd, like she’s wearing someone else’s jacket. But the work block goes well, and the volunteer shift leaves that same afterglow.

What changed wasn’t her willpower; it was her value hierarchy. When experiences that used to rank high drop, the Feeling Brain stops producing “this is fun” signals. That’s healthy. By noticing the afterglow and elevating it over the adrenaline spike, she lets her updated values do the steering. In behavioral terms, she increased cues and rewards for high-value acts and added friction to low-value ones, making the better path the easier one.

Tonight, jot down your last month’s peak moments and circle the ones that left you quietly proud the next day. Turn those into two guiding values and put them somewhere you’ll see. Add small speed bumps to the low-value habits—unfollow, move apps, set limits—then calendar two actions this week that express your values. Let the new ‘fun’ teach your body what to choose next. Try one swap by Wednesday.