Why Making Problems Feels So Comfortably Familiar

There’s a strange comfort in conjuring up a catastrophe. Your mind races, adrenaline spikes, and suddenly you feel…alive. You dial up a faux crisis to drown out the numbness of ordinary life. You imagine everyone hates you at work, or that your partner must be cheating, or that a simple phone call gone unanswered means the end of the world. In those moments, drama anchors you in something bigger than the mundane.

For years, I lived in that loop: inventing problems to burst through. A text read ‘Seen’ but no reply, and I spiraled into absurd ‘maybe they’re mad at me’ scenarios. A friend was late to coffee and I began drafting over-the-top confrontations in my head. Each imagined problem felt like purpose—my own little dystopia where feelings I disliked became too important to ignore.

Then I realized my drama was self-created. I was avoiding the real discomfort of simply waiting or being ignored. My brain was stuck in the ‘problem loop’ because that felt safer than vulnerability. So I tried something radical: the next time I felt the familiar knot of made-up panic, I sat down and did five slow breaths, then asked myself, ‘Is this real?’ Nine times out of ten, it wasn’t. And so I took one tiny action—sending a ‘just checking in’ text—and went on with my life.

Research shows that problem-solving breaks the habit loop faster than problem ruminating. Our brains crave novelty and clarity, not imagined chaos. When you interrupt your mini disasters and shift to real solutions, you dismantle the conviction that drama equals proof you’re alive. Instead, you’ll feel genuinely alive in the fresh, quieter moments that follow your calm choice.

Next time panic creeps in and you start imagining worst-case dramas, stop. Sit still, breathe five slow counts, and ask if the fire you’re seeing is real or self-lit. If it’s imagined, send one clear message or take one small step that could genuinely help. You’ll replace the rush of make-believe suffering with the steady power of authentic problem-solving. Give that pause a try today.