Embrace all feelings so they become messengers not masters

You step into a tense meeting room and feel your chest tighten. Your inner voice flares up: “They’ll see me slip up.” Before you reach for your phone or launch into defensive mode, you pause—and notice the flash of fear racing through you. That moment of clarity cracks open a space between stimulus and response where you can now examine what’s really going on.

See your feelings as messengers. Fear might be telling you you care deeply about this project, which is good. Or it might be highlighting that you haven’t prepared enough. Whatever the lesson, naming the emotion stops it from running the show.

As you calmly label the feeling, your heartbeat gradually slows. You breathe, and that inner critic backs off enough for you to think clearly. You realize you’ve done the research, you know your slides, and this team values your expertise. With that reassurance, you open your mouth and speak with poise.

This process—showing up for your emotions—lets you access a level of authenticity and composure that no amount of positive affirmations could achieve. The science backs it: labeling emotions activates the brain’s logical cortex and dampens the amygdala’s fight-or-flight response, helping you regulate your emotional intensity and engage with the world more effectively.

When stress strikes today, breathe slowly, notice what you’re feeling, and name the emotion. Welcome it with curiosity—after all, your emotions come with vital information. Reflect on the why behind them. Then choose the next step that aligns with what matters most to you, whether it’s speaking up in the meeting or setting a new boundary tonight. Give this a try in your next tense moment.