Shift from Self-Center to Genuine Care for Others

Every day, our minds default to self-first thinking: “What’s in it for me?” In contrast, the practice of equalizing and exchanging self with others (, Tonglen ) flips that script. You visualize taking on another’s hardship and giving away your good fortune, expanding your capacity for empathy. Imagine a fellow student overwhelmed by an exam. You taste their anxiety on the in-breath and exhale calm confidence—both conceptually and in how your brain responds. This mental exchange is backed by social psychology research showing that perspective-taking increases prosocial behavior and emotional regulation. By habitually envisioning this compassionate swap, you shift from a narrow self-concern to a far-reaching care, dissolving barriers between you and others.

The next time you notice your focus drifting back to “me, me, me,” pause and shift to another’s viewpoint. Draw in their struggle, breathe out your support, and jot how this changes your heart. Give it a try at your next opportunity.