The Surprisingly Simple Way to Multiply Relationship Joy

Medium - Requires some preparation Recommended

Late at night, Emma’s phone buzzed with five unread messages from work, but she resisted checking them. Instead, she looked at her husband, who was quietly recounting his day by the soft glow of the bedside lamp. She set her phone face down, leaned forward, and met his gaze.

A pause hung in the air as she listened to him describe a small victory at the office. His words slowed, and Emma simply paraphrased: “So they finally approved your proposal?” His eyes lit up—he knew she heard him and cared.

In that silent minute, the tension of deadlines and laundry piled on the table vanished. They shared a genuine, unhurried moment of connection. Scientists at UNC found mindful listening decreases relationship stress and increases satisfaction because partners feel truly seen.

By staying present, Emma bypassed her to-do list and nurtured their bond. That one-minute practice grew into a nightly check-in ritual that fortified their relationship against life’s storms.

Empathic listening isn’t a grand gesture; it’s a simple pause that speaks volumes. It rewires our communication, strengthens trust, and brings joy back to everyday conversations.

Silence your phone and set it aside, then look your partner in the eyes and let them speak without interruption. After a few sentences, paraphrase what you heard to confirm you understand, while resisting the urge to jump in with solutions. This simple minute of presence builds connection, reduces stress, and nurtures trust—try it at dinner tonight.

What You'll Achieve

You’ll deepen emotional intimacy, reduce misunderstandings, and foster trust by mastering presence, leading to stronger, more joyful connections.

Practice One Minute of Empathic Listening

1

Put away your device.

Silence your phone and place it face down so you give full attention without digital distractions.

2

Make eye contact without speaking.

Look into your partner’s eyes to signal you’re present and listening without interjecting a word.

3

Reflect back their words.

Paraphrase one sentence they say—this shows you heard them and helps clarify meaning.

4

Silence your inner reply.

When you feel the urge to respond or problem-solve, note it but keep your focus on the speaker’s experience.

Reflection Questions

  • When was the last time you felt truly heard?
  • How does it feel when someone mirrors your words back?
  • What might change if you practiced this every day?

Personalization Tips

  • Couples: do a one-minute check-in at dinner—listen without interruption.
  • Friends: give a coworker your undivided attention during a hallway chat.
  • Parents: sit with your child for sixty seconds, listening to their day’s high point.
Declutter Your Mind: How to Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety, and Eliminate Negative Thinking
← Back to Book

Declutter Your Mind: How to Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety, and Eliminate Negative Thinking

S.J. Scott 2016
Insight 6 of 8

Ready to Take Action?

Get the Mentorist app and turn insights like these into daily habits.