Ask the future what it wants and calm decision anxieties
Short-term fear or excitement can hijack our decisions, making us feel we’re in if-only quicksand. Maria—excited by a new role—found herself frozen by the dread of uprooting her toddler and losing weekend freedom. She couldn’t decide and felt a dull nausea whenever she thought of her next step. Then she tried a simple 10/10/10 exercise: in 10 minutes she’d be proud she asked; in 10 months she’d be grateful she risked growth; in 10 years she’d either be thriving or happily chosen a new chapter. That distant perspective quieted her stomach. Next, she asked, “What would I tell my best friend?” Suddenly she heard her own loving counsel: “Leap with conditions.” She set a calendar reminder two weeks later to take the offer or close the door, and she drew up a quick schedule that protected weekend time no matter where she worked. In fifteen minutes, Maria’s uncertainty dissolved into resolve. This distance work isn’t wishy-washy—it’s a proven way to shift emotion through thoughtful perspective, giving you clarity and calm for your next big step.
Whenever you feel that familiar grip of indecision, stop and do a quick future check: jot down how it will feel in minutes, months, and years. Then switch hats—what’s the supportive advice you’d offer a friend? Combine those two insights and set a firm date to act. You’ll feel the tension ease and the path clear. Give it a try after your next coffee break.
What You'll Achieve
You’ll neutralize day-of trembling or euphoria by anchoring yourself in longer-term feelings, yielding calm, confident decisions. Externally, you’ll seize opportunities without paralyzing worry.
Link today’s choices to tomorrow’s feelings
Run the 10/10/10 analysis
For your tough call, write down how you’d feel in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. Note your worries and your anticipated peace.
Flip perspectives
Ask yourself, “What advice would I give my best friend facing this?” Write it down. Notice how other-focused guidance feels clearer and calmer.
Signal your priorities
Draft a two-sentence personal “mission statement” that captures your core value tied to this decision. Let it guide you when the short-term stress rises.
Set a packing tripwire
Decide one measurable cue—say, “If I’m still dithering two weeks after booking the consultation, I’ll commit.” Put it in your calendar to trigger closure.
Reflection Questions
- How might you regret waiting to decide tomorrow?
- What long-term pride could calm today’s anxiety?
- What friend’s advice best tames your indecision?
Personalization Tips
- When deciding whether to ask for a pay raise, imagine your pride at 10 minutes, relief at 10 months, and pride at 10 years.
- Preparing for grad school, think how you’ll feel after acing your first exam, after six months of classes, and at graduation.
- Debating a move, visualize the excitement tonight, the satisfaction after settling in, and the joy five years later.
Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work
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