Turn reviews into growth conversations, not pity parties

Walking into a feedback session, you feel the weight of the table between you. The last time you sat down like this, the air turned cold and your colleague left more alienated than empowered. This time, you shift your chairs to face the same direction. You open with, “Your proposal’s insights were spot on,” then lean in and ask, “Which aspect would you like to tackle first for next time?”

Your teammate relaxes and shares their work concerns. By placing critique in the context of genuine appreciation, you’ve honored their effort while safeguarding curiosity. As neuroscientists note, praise reduces the amygdala’s threat response, making us receptive to ideas instead of defensive.

You co-choose one realistic goal—streamlining bullet points, for example. You end the session with a shared timeline and a quick check-in plan. That short, collaborative conversation builds real momentum, more than a dozen bullet points and a cold stare ever could.

When you prepare your next review, pull your chairs together and open with a genuine takeaway: “I loved how you handled X.” Ask your colleague, “Which feedback feels most helpful?” Then co-decide on a single step they’ll take. You’re not delivering a verdict—you’re forging a partnership. This one shift transforms dread into growth. Try it at your next check-in.