Boundaries are the secret to wholehearted connection

You’ve heard it before: “Boundaries are selfish.” But if you let resentment build, you’ll have nothing left to give. Imagine your energy like a glass of water—you pour it constantly. Without boundaries, the glass runs dry.

Sandy was a superstar project manager, always first to volunteer for extra work. One Friday afternoon, overloaded, she snapped at a colleague and lost two days of trust. Embarrassed, she spent weeks apologizing in meetings, eroding morale and her confidence. Then she learned a simple truth: boundaries build trust.

She started small—“I’ll log off email at 7 P.M.”—and stuck to it. She blocked one hour daily for downtime. Over time, she became calmer, more present, and even more reliable at work. Neuroscience shows that clear boundaries reduce chronic stress and reboot your prefrontal cortex, improving decision making. Sandy’s team noticed the change—and marshaled their own boundaries. They were able to take on bigger challenges with clear heads and full glasses.

When you feel a knot of resentment, reach for your journal. List recent moments that drained you—that’s your boundary alert. Then practice saying no once: “I’m sorry, I can’t take that on right now.” Block one hour this week on your calendar for focus or rest and honor it. Notice how giving yourself limits actually boosts your trustworthiness and energy. Try it this afternoon.