Fall forward fast by learning how to land safely

I still remember the September I tried to juggle a new venture launch, a book tour, and a massive training rollout all at once. Desks piled high with prototypes, drafts everywhere—pure chaos. My husband came home and, starving, barked, “We don’t even have lunch meat!” I exploded, only to learn he hadn’t meant it as a dig at my meltdown—he was simply hungry.

That moment forced me to reckon with the story I’d spun about myself: “I’m a half-ass leader, mom, wife, and daughter.” I’d given a narrative that made me feel small and alone. Instead of letting shame swallow me, I grabbed a pen and wrote down that go-to story, then asked myself, “What if the real story is that everything was simply too big?” I shared this with my team, and helped them learn to fall forward together.

Research on resilience shows that separating the event from the identity—“I did X, I am not X”—is the key to bouncing back. By naming my story, rumbling on its assumptions, and rehearsing a small self-care ritual—a short walk around the block—I found my footing and a path to a sustainable pace of work.

The next time you crash—whatever size crash it is—pause and pull out your notebook. Jot down the story your mind wants to tell: “I’m such a failure,” or “They’ll think less of me.” Set it aside and ask a trusted ally to help you pick apart one assumption. Then pick one tiny recovery ritual—a cup of tea in peace, a five-minute stretch—and honor it. You’ll rebuild your footing faster and with less baggage each time. Try it after your next stumble.