Listen like a highlighter so people perform better around you

On a Tuesday, a team lead tried something odd. She called it her “yellow marker day.” She decided she wouldn’t give more praise, only better praise. When her analyst presented a draft, she said, “You spotted the risk nobody else did.” When a quiet designer asked one hard question, she added, “That question saved us a sprint.” The office smelled faintly of burnt coffee and fresh dry‑erase ink, the usual soundtrack of keyboard taps and Slack pings in the background.

By lunch, the room felt different. People leaned in more, tossed ideas without flinching. After stand‑up, she introduced two colleagues to a visiting stakeholder and slipped in a line about each person’s edge. It wasn’t flattery, it was accurate labeling. The visitor later said, “Your team seems unusually confident.” The lead smiled. Nothing else had changed.

That evening, a teammate shared a win by the elevator. Instead of a quick “Nice job,” the lead asked for the story and suggested a tiny celebration. They walked to the corner cart for dumplings and laughed about a near‑miss. Two days later, that same teammate volunteered to take on a hairy task nobody wanted.

There’s a quiet risk here. Low expectations—the golem effect—also shape results. The lead noticed she was tense before a call with someone who’d missed deadlines last month. She took sixty seconds to reread two specific notes about that person’s past wins. The call felt lighter. The work didn’t magically fix itself, but the tone shifted from suspicion to solution.

Labeling matters because people internalize the identity you reflect back. Accurate, specific labels become targets they aim to hit. It’s the social version of a performance bias: expect better, highlight the path, and watch people step into it. That’s not mind games. It’s leadership through attention.

For the next day, call out one precise strength you see in each person, then upgrade your next introduction by adding a truthful rave line that sets a helpful label. When someone shares good news, match their excitement, ask for details, and suggest a small celebration. If you feel yourself expecting a miss, pause and recall two concrete examples of that person doing good work to avoid setting a golem trap. Try the sprint tomorrow and see how the room feels by noon.