Move closer to understand those you fear most

You’re at a block party, pulled by a savory grill smell, when you spot a neighbor you barely know—someone whose yard flag you’ve scoffed at in passing. Your heart hammers: what if they judge you? But you press on. “Hey, the burgers smell amazing. What’s your secret?”

They brighten, tell you it’s family barbecue sauce, and ask about your weekend. You mention your kid’s baseball game, and suddenly the political rift feels miles away. A lawn chair creaks as a few more guests drop by. You resist the urge to escape.

When they share that the flag represents a hometown team, you admit you’ve never been to that city. You listen to their hometown tale of minor league games and street festivals. The sun dips; cicadas hum. You realize you’re smiling more than you have all month.

Psychologists call this counter-stereotyping: by personally encountering someone we’ve dehumanized, we weaken our biases. Next time you see a lawn sign, you’ll recall Gene’s backyard stories more than your assumptions.

That evening, you jot in your journal: “They reminded me that under any banner, we all crave community.” Now you know how easy it is to swap distance for curiosity.

Begin by reaching out to someone whose views differ, ask about everyday joys before controversial topics, listen and reflect their stories back, then write down one new understanding. This simple habit shifts fear into curiosity and builds real belonging—try it at your next social event.