How community accountability saved a marriage on the brink

When Mike and Wendy faced their deepest marriage crisis after infidelity, they turned to two ministries at their church: Men’s Connect and Angelic Steps dance group. For Mike, weekly men’s gatherings meant honest sharing of pressure, doubts, and faith. As he confessed his failings, he realized he wasn’t alone in carrying burdens. The simple act of voicing guilt and hearing others reply “I’ve been there” dissolved shame.

Meanwhile, Wendy immersed herself in liturgical dance rehearsals. In that circle of women, she found more than choreography—she found sisters on similar journeys of hurt and healing. They prayed over her, prayed with her, and reminded her of her worth through every plié and leap. One night, sweat dripping under stage lights, she felt arms wrap around her in prayer after a difficult solo.

Social science shows that accountability groups activate social identity, motivating us to uphold new behaviors and beliefs. Mike’s newfound openness in those men’s circles translated into consistent transparency at home. Wendy’s emotional safety in dance empowered her to extend grace in marriage.

Through shared vulnerability and reciprocal support, they built a durable network that held them through the most uncertain season, proving that community can rescue what pride alone cannot.

First, list three people who lift you up—men or women who embody honesty and faith. Invite each to a monthly coffee where you’ll share one struggle and one victory. Before each meeting, set a topic—communication, forgiveness, or self-care—and bring a question to unpack. Offer your own encouragement or practical help in return. This circle of champions will remind you that you don’t have to navigate life or marriage alone.