Why the Platinum Rule Beats the Golden One in Leadership

You’ve always lived by the golden rule—treat others how you want to be treated. But as a new leader, you notice disengagement when you pack presentations with bullet points while your colleagues crave stories, or vice versa. The silence in that virtual meeting stings more than any critique.

A study of CEOs like Jack Welch and Anne Mulcahy showed they rarely used “I” in speeches and tuned their style to the audience—some wanted crisp data, others needed heartfelt examples, and some simply wanted to roll up sleeves together. That shift from golden to platinum rule—treating others how they want to be treated—made all the difference in buy-in and morale.

Tomorrow, you decide to survey your team with three simple words: “Head, heart, hands?” Over coffee, you jot down each person’s choice, then tailor your next project kickoff accordingly. When Emma hears the detailed plan she asked for, and Miguel experiences the energy of a workshop, you see heads nod and smiles break out. You realize that by flipping your script to match their preferences, you build engagement and respect—one individual at a time.

Begin by asking each team member whether they prefer data, emotional context, or hands-on collaboration for your next discussion. Create a simple chart that lists their preferences and consult it before any presentation or one-on-one. Plan your next meeting for each person’s style—use slides for data-lovers, stories for those who seek connection, or group exercises for collaborative spirits. Update this map monthly to show your ongoing commitment. Try this approach in your next check-in.