Why who you are matters more than what you do when forming habits
You’ve tried willpower, reminders, even fancy apps, and still old habits slide right back in. That’s because habits aren’t just actions—they’re reflections of the person you believe you are. When Claire vowed to ‘finally journal every day,’ she hit a wall at day two. She was still her old self: distracted, overwhelmed, running late. It wasn’t until she redefined her identity—‘I’m a reflective writer who honors her thoughts’—that things shifted. Suddenly the notebook on her nightstand was no longer a chore but a treasured extension of who she was becoming.
With this new self-view, Claire shrugged off missed entries not as failures but as a mismatch with her old identity. She simply paused, re-affirmed her choice—‘I’m a reflective writer’—and picked up her pen. Within weeks, the act of journaling felt as natural as breathing, because her actions were aligned with her beliefs.
Behavioral science calls this ‘identity-based habit formation’: you anchor actions not by force but through self-perception. When your habits match your identity, resistance melts away and the brain frees up willpower for new challenges.
Start by noticing what you tell yourself. Are you still picturing the person you used to be? If so, it’s time for an upgrade. Embrace the new you completely, and watch your behaviors slip neatly into place.
Today you’ll adopt your habit hero’s exact identity so you can make lasting change. First, set aside time to jot down the ‘I am…’ phrases that run through your mind every day. Then flip your most limiting label into its opposite and circle that new phrase on your page. Close your eyes to imagine yourself living that phrase in a typical morning or meeting. Finally, start using your new ‘I am…’ line in conversations instead of your old one. Picture how you’d speak if you were already that confident, transformed person—then give it a try at your next opportunity.
What You'll Achieve
You will internalize a powerful, positive self-image that aligns mind and body, boosting confidence, reducing internal conflict, and creating smoother, more automatic habit performance. Externally, you’ll meet deadlines more reliably, speak up more often, and show up as the person you say you are.
Adopt your new identity without question
List your current identity labels
Spend 5 minutes writing down all the ‘I am…’ statements you regularly repeat about yourself, like ‘I’m a procrastinator’ or ‘I’m unfit.’
Flip the most limiting labels
Pick one self-limiting label and create its positive opposite—e.g., change ‘I’m always late’ to ‘I’m a punctual professional.’ Place both statements side by side and circle the new identity.
Visualize living your new identity
Close your eyes for two minutes and imagine a typical morning as the person you’ve chosen to become—what you do, how you feel, how people treat you.
Speak as your new self
For the next hour, talk about yourself in conversation using your new ‘I am…’ phrase with total conviction, ignoring any urge to slip back.
Reflection Questions
- Which labels do you repeat most often to describe yourself?
- How would your day change if you spoke from your new identity instead of your old one?
- What evidence can you look for today to reinforce your new identity?
- When you slip back into the old label, how can you remind yourself of your upgraded self?
Personalization Tips
- At work, if you label yourself ‘always behind,’ flip it to ‘organized deadline-crusher’ and stare at your calendar with pride.
- As a parent who thinks ‘I’m not creative,’ decide ‘I’m an imaginative storyteller’ and read your child a goofy bedtime tale.
- If you’ve avoided dating because ‘I’m unlovable,’ shift to ‘I’m magnetic and open to connection,’ then send a flirty text.
Badass Habits: Cultivate the Awareness, Boundaries, and Daily Upgrades You Need to Make Them Stick
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