Break the self-focus trap to truly serve customers

For the first two sales jobs, you’re dialing for dollars, convinced every customer is a stepping-stone to your next car payment. You know the feeling—each call leaves you drained, staring down a mounting to-do list instead of real human need.

Then you land with a mentor who asks one simple question: “Whose problem are you solving today?” The moment you flip from “me” to “them,” everything changes. In your next meeting you don’t read bullet points—you lean in, ears open, asking the customer to describe their hurdles and hopes. The tension in the room loosens. You’re not a vending machine spitting out features, you’re an ally in their corner.

Behavioral research on identity theory shows that when you adopt a helper identity, your actions become more collaborative. You start to anticipate needs rather than chase commissions. Customers pick up on that.

Weeks later, you wrap up a call where the CEO thanks you for focusing on their growth metrics. You realize success is no longer about you—it’s about stepping into their shoes and making their path easier.

Next time you pick up the phone, remember your customer’s last win and ask what would move the needle further instead of rattling off specs. Jot down three outcomes you’ve already delivered, share one publicly, and notice how the conversation deepens and trust grows. Try it today.