Build an Inner Shield Against Verbal Slights

I’ll admit, I hated public speaking as a younger academic. Once, after presenting a paper, a senior colleague laughed and called my argument “naïve.” My heart pounded. But I’d practiced a mental check: Is it true? I recalled how students had praised my clarity. I pictured myself amused by a clown’s silly wig—not wounded. I mentally quipped, “Guess it’s time for a witty retort”—and, honestly, I felt a rush of relief. The room’s judgemental edge dulled.

That evening, I reflected on decades of mocking reviews and how my self-poke humor tactic saved me. Instead of building walls, I built an invisible shield of humor and self-trust. The more I practiced, the thinner my skin became—not brittle but more resilient.

Cognitive-behavioral research shows that reframing insults as faulty opinions and injecting light humor engages the prefrontal cortex, inhibiting the amygdala’s threat reaction. In plain English: When you laugh at the jab, you don’t get hit.

Before your next stressful chat, cue up your mental silent guard: remind yourself insults reflect the speaker’s mindset, not yours. When someone sores your ego, ask, “Is it true?” and imagine a quick joke—it’ll feel oddly liberating. Try it at your next gathering.