The Hardest Truth: Your Life’s Meaning is Yours Alone to Create—Not to Find

You’ve looked at the late-night ceiling, asking, 'What’s the point?' during moments when life feels like a mess—after loss, failure, or just plain disappointment. Hoping for meaning to appear, you scroll through social media or toss in bed, waiting for something to make sense of it all. But nothing external arrives. Maybe you tell yourself, 'If only I found my big purpose…'

It’s a startling, almost uncomfortable shift to discover this: meaning is not waiting to be found; it’s something you assign. During a tough semester once, you struggled to keep up, feeling like all the work was pointless. But today, looking back, you remember one small thing. After failing a quiz and wanting to quit, you helped a friend review for their own test. That gesture became a sliver of significance, completely your own.

Adler and many modern psychologists echo this principle: meaning is not a universal blueprint, but a personal choice, even (and especially) in hardship. By consciously choosing meaning for your moments, you empower yourself to define your own life—however messy or incomplete it seems.

Remember a time when life looked random or meaningless—maybe after a setback or a tough year. Instead of asking what the world wants from you, look at what small decisions you made, however minor. Write down a meaning or value to claim for that period—determination, friendship, survival—whatever rings true for you. Now, turn to a challenge today and, before waiting for it to clarify itself, choose a purpose for it: growth, patience, even just 'getting through.' Review this new meaning as you move forward. See if it changes your sense of direction even a little.