The Uncomfortable Secret of Emotional Freedom—Let Pain Pass Through, Don’t Fight or Run

You’re standing in the hallway after a difficult conversation, your chest feels tight and hot, a sinking sensation moves through your stomach. In these moments, the first instinct is often to retreat—chew over what was said, find someone to blame, or distract yourself. Maybe you’ve caught yourself zoning out on your phone, fuming about injustice, or replaying the moment a hundred times. In the past, you would have built a wall against the pain, trying any mental strategy to push it out of sight.

But what if you tried something else? Instead of contracting, judging, or numbing, you pause and simply notice the sensation. You breathe into the ache, softening around it as if you’re opening a stuck window. It isn’t fun, but as you persist, the intensity wavers, disperses, and eventually passes. Instead of feeling hollow or bitter hours later, you’re oddly lighter, more able to focus on the present moment—like sunlight returning after a storm.

This process isn’t easy, but it’s what makes all the difference in building emotional freedom. Neuroscientists and therapists note that when emotions are allowed to flow (instead of being suppressed or dramatized), the nervous system resets much faster. Ongoing resistance—whether avoidance, justification, or self-criticism—actually stores pain in the body, making it more likely to trigger at the next stress. True liberation comes from meeting discomfort fully, then watching it dissolve.

The next time emotional pain arises—whether as rejection, embarrassment, or resentment—let yourself pause. Notice the physical feeling and resist the urge to close off. Breathe deeply, relaxing shoulders and softening your chest, and let the discomfort move through you. Each time you stay open, you free a bit more of your internal energy. Remind yourself: growth is happening here. Practice this process wherever old habits of avoidance appear, and track how much more peace and flexibility you find.