Break Out of the Comparison Trap—How Unleashing Your Creativity Beats Fitting In

Brené Brown’s memory of a childhood filled with crafts—glitter, glue, and Saturday afternoons—faded as she entered environments where fitting in and achievement reigned. Creativity, once celebrated, soon felt like a luxury or even a source of shame—something you could only indulge if you had obvious talent. Years later, deep into research on resilience, she connects with tough, authentic people who make time for creativity despite full lives. She realizes that unused creativity doesn’t disappear; it withers inside, creating resentment and loss.

Determined to reclaim this part of herself, Brené signs up for a gourd-painting workshop with her daughter and her mother. The smell of paint, the mess, the laughter—at first, it feels awkward. But the joy of creating something purely for fun, with no one keeping score, is palpable. The workshop is a small act of rebellion: showing up, making something new, letting go of comparisons. Over months, not only does she feel more alive, but stress and worry lose their grip.

Her experience reinforces the behavioral science insight that creativity is a basic human drive. When people block creativity by focusing on comparison and competition, they also block joy and meaning. Reclaiming creative practices literally increases long-term well-being and reduces the suffocation of 'not enough' thinking.

Pick a creative activity you loved as a kid or have always wished to try, and set aside just half an hour this week—alone or with company. Block out comparison thoughts—you’re not doing this to win anyone over, just to reconnect with what makes you feel alive. Notice your mood before and after, and keep going even if it feels awkward. Over time, creativity will become a source of energy—not a test you have to pass. Try a small, imperfect start and let it be enough.