The Scientific Case for Ordinary Courage—Why Vulnerability Fuels Strength

What most people call 'courage' conjures images of firefighters or star athletes, but psychological studies highlight the power of 'ordinary courage': the decision to openly express true thoughts and feelings, especially when it feels risky or embarrassing. In the real world, this might mean raising your hand in history when you’re lost, or telling a roommate, 'I messed up our laundry; sorry.' It’s the same courage that allows a child to call a parent from a sleepover in the middle of the night, or an employee to say to their manager, 'I’m struggling with this project.'

These micro-moments rarely go viral, but build resilience and trust over time. In everyday life, the moments that seem small—asking for help, admitting confusion, expressing hopes—are what build true confidence and connection. You notice that trusted friends and wise leaders admit to mistakes, making them more approachable and relatable.

Behavioral research finds that ordinary courage is contagious: when one person dares to be open or vulnerable, others follow, and teams or families function with greater honesty and empathy. As you practice this, you’ll see that courage isn’t about bravado, but about risking vulnerability. It transforms the air at home, in classrooms, or at work—people relax, drop their defenses, and support each other as equals.

Underlying all this is the neuroscience of social safety and connection. When we’re honest about our needs, we give permission for others to do the same, activating the brain’s 'social engagement system.' Over time, regular acts of ordinary courage form the backbone of resilient, supportive relationships.

Each day this week, pick one spot in your life where you usually hide your true feelings or hesitate to ask questions. When the moment comes, take a deep breath and, without apologizing, state your need—say you're confused, need help, or care about the outcome. Then pay attention to how you feel afterwards and how people react. You might be surprised: instead of judging you, others may actually thank you, or share their own struggles. Write down anything that changes so you can see your progress. Let small acts of openness become your normal.