Growing Trust with the Emotional Bank Account—The Ultimate Relationship Tool

Trust doesn’t come from grand gestures—it’s built and rebuilt through small, steady acts: honest listening, keeping promises, noticing what matters to someone besides yourself. Covey calls this the ‘Emotional Bank Account’—and its deposits (or withdrawals) determine whether your relationships thrive or barely survive.

When Marcus broke a promise to his best friend, he tried to gloss over it. But eventually, the distance between them grew uncomfortable—one broken promise felt like a dozen withdrawals. Instead, what repaired the bond wasn’t a big apology, but a week of small, real efforts: showing up early, checking in, and asking what the friend needed, not just what Marcus wanted.

Behavioral research on trust shows that people are quick to spot inconsistency between words and actions. Little hurts—missed calls, unkept promises, sarcasm—quickly drain the account, making even good intentions suspect. But each repair, each intentional act of care, adds up—slowly restoring faith on both sides.

It’s the regular deposits, not the big events, that transform connections from fragile to unshakable.

Scan your most important relationships and pick one that could use a trust boost. Every day, do one small thing to listen better, show up, or support that person’s priorities—these are your trust deposits. Have a gentle conversation about what you both expect from each other, and don’t hesitate to admit mistakes honestly. Consistently keeping your word creates reserves you can draw upon when times get tough—start the deposits today and watch your relationships turn around.