Standing Up for Yourself Does Not Equal Being Selfish—It Might Save the Group

The fear of being 'too much'—or not enough—often silences people who contribute the most. It’s easy to confuse self-assertion with arrogance, but research on group performance and identity (see Amy Edmondson’s psychological safety studies) shows that teams flounder when members suppress their voices to avoid rocking the boat. When Running with Scissors’ chemistry falters, A.J. worries he’ll be tossed aside when Jude returns. After a heated dispute, he takes a risk: naming his skills, reminding the group of his record, and refusing to be quietly replaced as drummer. His stand is firm but fact-based. The group is forced to recognize his value and start an honest conversation about strengths and fit, rather than keeping decisions shrouded in competition or resentment. Rather than unravelling the team, his assertiveness saves it from drift and invisibility. The courageous act of claiming your seat is often precisely what keeps a performance group resilient.

Count your wins and be prepared to cite them—don’t let insecurity or comparison shrink you out of a team you’ve earned. Challenge doubts directly, ask for actionable feedback you can work with, and repeat your commitment to shared success loud enough for everyone to hear. It’s not selfish—it helps your whole group grow.