Raw Intelligence Alone Won’t Guarantee Success—Practical Intelligence and Upbringing Matter Just as Much

Consider two students with sky-high IQs. Both devour textbooks, ace standardized tests, and speak in crisp, confident sentences. But as adulthood unfolds, one thrives in a community of scholars and lands a dream job; the other finds opportunities slipping through their fingers and grows increasingly isolated.

What makes the difference? According to decades of research, there’s more to success than cognitive horsepower. Psychologist Robert Sternberg calls it “practical intelligence”—knowing what to say, when and how to say it, and reading social cues to get what you need. While analytic intelligence is often measured in school, practical intelligence is built at home and in community, shaped by the daily experiences of negotiating rules, asking questions, and learning to advocate for yourself.

Sociologist Annette Lareau’s long-term studies show that middle-class families are more likely to coach children in the nuances of negotiation, entitlement, and institutional navigation. In contrast, families from less privileged backgrounds often emphasize respect, independence, and deference—habits that, while admirable, can leave kids less prepared to challenge authority or customize their environment. The result? Talent and raw test scores matter—but without learned practical intelligence, it’s much harder to convert talent into social opportunity, support, and lasting achievement.

To fully unlock your potential, nurture the habit of proactive problem-solving and comfortable interaction with authority. It’s not about being pushy—it’s about being able to ask questions, negotiate circumstances, and make sure your ideas and needs are heard.

Take note of your reactions every time you interact with a person in authority—do you freeze, go along quietly, or feel comfortable stating your needs? Next, pick one small issue you could address—a missing grade, a confusing policy, or a resource you need—and draft a script for how to ask, negotiate, or clarify. Try it out in a low-stakes conversation, and pay attention to both the results and your comfort level. This is a muscle; each stretch makes it stronger and more automatic.