See how owning things distorts your sense of value and hold on less tightly

Two friends, each just out of college, inherit nearly identical but old couches from family. One lists his on a marketplace app for $400, remembering long study nights and pizza parties. The other, shopping for a new place, sets a mental ceiling at $120. They end up talking and laughing about their mismatched numbers, realizing neither would actually buy what the other is selling. The phenomenon is everywhere: the neighbor who demands twice the house’s worth, the swarms of people bidding up online auctions because they’ve been top offer for days, the parent holding on to a child’s artwork even after it's fallen from the fridge.

This is the endowment effect: owning something—an object or even an idea—makes us value it far more than others do. It’s not just about nostalgia or comfort but a predictable, measurable cognitive bias, strengthened when we’ve poured in effort ('the IKEA effect'). The good news is, a little self-awareness and an outsider’s perspective can help loosen the grip, freeing us from unnecessary clutter and painful choices.

Next time you hesitate to part with something, step into a buyer’s shoes and ask yourself what you’d really pay for it if you didn’t own it. Write down specific new things you could gain by letting the old go—even non-material things like mental clarity or space. Remind yourself that extra effort can breed extra attachment, but not necessarily extra value. If you’re stuck, call on someone whose opinion isn’t colored by your memories for honest feedback. Try out this mindset during your next clean-out or big decision, and let a little more space and flexibility into your life.