Predictable Patterns Are Dangerous—Surprise Disarms and Protects

Most people crave routine because it feels safe, but the truth is, it often makes you a target, either for being overlooked or for sabotage. Maybe you’re always the organizing type on field trips—so others leave all the work to you, or take your efforts for granted. Or you show up to every family dinner with exactly the same joke, and—well, you can guess the eye rolls.

Then one week, try something different: let someone else handle the planning, or change your usual seat at the table, or even turn your joke into a question. To your surprise, this unpredictable move wakes everyone up. Some people scramble to adjust, and one or two rethink how they rely on you. After the dust settles, there’s more respect—and maybe even a new opportunity. Psychological research shows that disrupting patterns, even in small ways, amplifies your ability to command attention and reduces the chances others can box you in. It creates just enough discomfort in their expectations to keep you in control of your narrative, opening new doors and closing off old ruts.

Take a step outside your usual routine this week—pick one place where people can predict your every move, and change things up. Switch up your role in a group, volunteer differently in class, or suggest a new plan the next time chores are assigned at home. Keep an eye on people’s responses: you’ll see who’s surprised, who has to adapt, and what new doors that unpredictability might open. This isn’t about being difficult for its own sake—it’s about keeping your influence fresh and your options open. Start with a single change and build from there.