Why Outshining Your Boss Backfires More Than You Think

Standing at the front of a packed conference room, Jamal eagerly presents a breakthrough his team made. The charts are crisp, the impact obvious—everyone can see how much he’s contributed. His manager, Ms. Tan, nods but her expression’s unreadable. After the meeting, Jamal’s colleagues congratulate him, but for weeks, his suggestions seem to get little traction, and he’s passed over for a stretch assignment. It’s frustrating—he thought excellence would speak for itself.

Over lunch, a mentor quietly points out: ‘You made your boss feel she might look less sharp by comparison. In these settings, it’s smart to ensure any public praise or credit floats upward.’ Jamal bristles at the idea—shouldn’t talent be its own reward? But he can’t ignore the results. He tries a slight shift at the next team update: he highlights how Ms. Tan’s advice guided the group, credits her for asking tough questions that pushed the work in a new direction, and leaves it at that. Soon, her support returns—assignments flow to him again, and their working relationship improves.

Behavioral science calls this navigating social hierarchies. People instinctively guard their status and may react strongly—often unconsciously—when someone beneath them seems too threateningly competent or independent. While it may feel counterintuitive to dim your own light, it’s often the wiser move when working closely with high-status or insecure leaders.

Ready to steer your success without stepping on toes? Start by noticing when your boss, coach, or teacher gets tense or distant after you’re recognized—maybe they go quiet or change the subject. Next time you’re in a group, try redirecting credit upward: mention how their guidance or decisions made great results possible. And when you get praised, deflect it casually instead of soaking it all in—say you learned a lot or that the team worked hard. It might feel awkward at first, but over time, you’ll see how this approach smooths relationships and opens doors. Give it a try at your next meeting or event.