Letting Go of the Need for Psychological Time Breaks the Cycle of Suffering

Consider how often we treat happiness as something just out of reach: after graduation, after the next promotion, or once we’ve finally lost a few pounds. We use practical time to schedule appointments, plan dinner, or set reminders. But psychological time creeps in when we become mentally stuck in the past or future—reliving old mistakes or obsessing over what might come next.

This habit leaks our vitality from the present moment. Instead of enjoying the learning of today’s lesson, we become consumed with fear or hope about tomorrow’s test. Even pleasant planning becomes tinged with anxiety or impatience if we’re unable to enjoy what’s unfolding now.

The research is clear: excessive focus on past or future is linked to higher rates of anxiety and depression, while present-moment awareness builds both satisfaction and effectiveness. Working toward a goal is healthiest when each small step is honored as a complete moment, not just a means to an end.

Letting go of psychological time doesn’t mean forgetting the past or abandoning your goals. It means using the past for learning and the future for practical steps—then returning to the only place life actually happens: right now.

You start by becoming aware of those moments when you’re telling yourself satisfaction is somewhere in the future and noticing the pressure it brings. Next, you draw a line between the time needed for real planning and the extra worry or regret that only drains your energy. From there, you anchor your attention in whatever you're doing today, enjoying both the simplicity and the challenge of the moment, rather than waiting for a distant payoff. Over time, you’ll discover how much more grounded and motivated you feel when your mind is not enslaved by psychological time. Try checking your tendency to ruminate or project—do a reset and focus on your next step now.