The Real Challenge: Radical Open-Mindedness Versus Your Own Ego

The classroom is humming with nervous energy as students collaborate on a group project. You notice yourself tensing when Brian questions your approach, cutting you off with, 'Are you sure that's the best way?' A familiar wave of irritation rises. For half a second, you're ready to snap back or dismiss him as clueless. But you catch yourself mid-breath, recognizing that ego-driven tightening—shoulders inching up, jaw clenching.

Instead of pushing your idea harder, you take a risk and ask Brian, 'What’s making you doubtful? Can you show me how you see it working a different way?' There's an awkward pause, but Brian sketches out his steps. Parts of his view actually make sense, even though you’re not convinced by everything. After the meeting, you scribble a note in your planner: 'I bristle when challenged—need to ask more, defend less.'

At home that night, you message a trusted friend who’s great at this sort of thing and invite them to poke holes in your plan. Stripping away the urge to 'win' makes space for fresh thinking. You’re surprised by how quickly your view evolves, bolstered not weakened by critique. And you notice: the urge to defend is like a reflex, but the choice to listen and tune in is something you build like a muscle, one rep at a time.

Psychologically, this practice reduces blind spot bias and supports cognitive flexibility—a trait strongly linked to effective learning in both teams and individuals. It’s hard because the brain naturally defends what's familiar, but openness is where better answers often live.

The next time you find yourself wanting to argue, defend, or dismiss someone’s disagreement, pause and notice that ego-driven tightening in your body and mind. Instead of launching into your explanation, take a breath and genuinely invite the other person to lay out their thinking in detail. Hold back your own view just long enough to really hear theirs. As you reflect later, look for blind spots—places where your confidence might be covering a gap. Finally, muster up the courage to seek input from someone with a proven track record, letting their viewpoint shape or challenge your own. Every interaction becomes a practice ground for radical open-mindedness. Try it at your next debate or group decision.