Don’t Attack Beliefs Change Them With Positive First-Hand Evidence

Limiting beliefs—like 'I’m not a good public speaker' or 'I could never run a business'—aren’t chosen, they’re built from old evidence and experience. Trying to forcefully change them, or telling someone to just 'believe in themselves,' rarely works. Instead, lasting change happens when you face a new, positive, direct experience that stands out from your old story.

Take the journey from stage fright to confidence: it doesn't start with affirmations or advice, but with getting up and speaking—again and again. At first, fears come true: your hands shake, your voice wobbles. But each time you survive, stumble less, or receive authentic applause, your mind gathers new evidence. Over dozens of reps, belief shifts, not from outside pep talks but from your own experience.

This approach is rooted in confirmation bias and cognitive behavioral therapy. We trust our senses and experiences more than anyone’s arguments. So, rather than attacking a stubborn or false belief, invite direct contact with better evidence. Ask yourself—or someone you care about—to explain their current belief in detail, challenge gently, and then support them as they try something new. The old belief weakens the farther they go.

To break out of an old, limiting belief you hold about yourself or the world, deliberately step into a situation that might challenge it—just a small experiment, something you can handle. When you catch yourself thinking, 'I could never do this,' don’t argue, just act: take that beginner’s class, speak up once in a meeting, or try a new approach with a teacher or partner. Along the way, notice and write down any positive results, even if they're tiny. When helping others, instead of arguing about their beliefs, gently ask them to explain why they think that way, then invite them to try on some new evidence or experiences. Give yourself permission to update your self-story, one honest success at a time.