Break the Habit of Waiting to Be Picked—Pick Yourself First
Sandra spent years in 'Pick Me!' limbo, laboring over her art portfolio and applying blindly for gallery spots, feeling invisible. It wasn’t until she launched an online page showing her progress and started selling small pieces directly to neighbors—no permits, no awards, no official stamp—that she gained momentum. The sense of authority shifted as she moved from passive permission-seeker to self-starter. Strangely enough, gatekeepers started noticing her anyway, but by then, her sense of agency didn’t depend on their approval.
This shift—choosing oneself to start—lies at the heart of entrepreneurial thinking, but it’s just as vital for students, artists, or anyone tired of waiting for credit, promotions, or assignments. Sociologists have found that people who act as 'internal locus of control'—believing they are responsible for outcomes—report higher well-being and are seen as more trustworthy and competent by their peers. The practice isn’t always easy, but each small action builds the muscle.
Breaking the habit of waiting requires conscious friction against years of social training—yet once you start, the world often responds to those who make the first move.
Notice the places where you’re waiting meekly—are you hoping for an official endorsement, a manager’s assurance, someone to nominate you? This week, take a step without waiting for anyone’s approval—maybe it’s publishing your work, opening a small event, or proposing a system improvement. Accept the small discomfort that comes with acting alone, and observe how your attitude—and how others respond—shifts the moment you step forward. Sometimes, the only green light you need is the one you grant yourself.
What You'll Achieve
You’ll take real ownership of your path, gain the confidence of acting without waiting, and open up opportunities that only exist for those willing to give themselves permission.
Reject Passive Permission-Seeking and Choose Yourself
Identify an Area Where You’re Waiting.
Think about where you’re hoping for approval, whether it's for a promotion, a publishing deal, or a team lead role.
Draft a Plan to Move Without External Validation.
Ask yourself: 'If no one gave me the go-ahead, what action could I take on my own? Could I build, publish, or organize independently?'
Act on Your Own Plan This Week.
Don’t wait for a green light, invite yourself to begin—send the email, set up the meeting, launch the prototype, and embrace responsibility for the results.
Reflection Questions
- What would you do differently if you never expected to be 'picked'?
- Where have you been silently seeking approval—and how is that holding you back?
- What’s one small action you could take this week without external consent?
Personalization Tips
- Aspiring writer: Publish an article on your own blog instead of waiting for an acceptance letter.
- Professional: Pitch a solution to a problem you’ve noticed, not because you were asked but because it needs doing.
- Community: Organize a gathering or campaign without waiting for an official request.
Poke the Box
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