Stop Waiting to Be Picked—Start Picking Yourself and Leading Change

Have you ever felt stuck, hoping someone would finally notice your effort and give you a shot? It's easy to slip into the pattern of waiting: waiting for teachers to call on you, managers to promote you, or friends to invite you. Yet, the path forward almost always belongs to those who pick themselves.

Consider the story of Sarah, who loved musical theater but found herself endlessly auditioning, hoping for a nod from the right director, rarely performing despite her passion. She finally asked, 'What if I stopped waiting for permission?' Instead of another audition, Sarah organized her own small performance at a local community center. The turnout wasn’t huge, but the night was alive with the energy of her art—chosen by her, for her audience, on her terms. The joy she found in self-created opportunity rippled into her confidence in other areas of life.

This habit—of picking yourself—turns ordinary people into initiators. Whether it’s the quiet student who starts a club in the cafeteria, an employee who volunteers to lead a tricky project, or a parent who organizes a community event, the difference is not divine talent or external approval. It’s action in the face of uncertainty.

Social science calls this 'internal locus of control'—the belief that you can influence your circumstances, not just react to them. Over time, these self-chosen actions create momentum, turning risk into habit and leadership into the norm.

Think back to a recent time when you hesitated, hoping someone else would greenlight your idea or point you in the right direction. This week, choose one area—big or small—where you can bypass permission and simply start. It might be as simple as sending out an invitation to friends, creating a new process at work, or publishing a piece you wrote on your own terms. As soon as you act, let one trusted person know. The sense of ownership from acting without a gatekeeper will surprise you, and soon, self-authorizing your contribution will feel as natural as waiting once did. Let yourself start, even if you’re not totally ready.