From Manipulation to Service—Why Selling Now Means Making It Personal and Purposeful

Imagine you’re about to ask a coworker to cover a shift, or a friend to help you move. It’s easy to make it all about your needs—but pausing briefly, you reframe your pitch. First, you tell yourself, 'If my coworker says yes, is there a real benefit for her—extra pay, a future favor, peace of mind that someone has her back?' If you can’t name anything tangible, maybe you need to adjust your ask, or offer something in return.

Next, when you make the request, you say her name. You bring up her upcoming project, how covering this shift might actually help her free up time later, or how her reliability is something everyone appreciates. It’s not fake flattery; it’s connecting to what matters to her, not just to you.

Right before you hit send—or speak—you add a line about why this action matters on a larger scale. Maybe stepping up means the team runs smoothly, customers aren’t left hanging, or you keep up the reputation for dependability that she'll benefit from too.

Behavioral science shows that people are more likely to respond when they see their role as meaningful, and when the purpose resonates with shared values rather than just benefiting the asker. This isn’t about slick manipulation; it’s an honest, purposeful connection that makes both sides feel valued and respected.

Next time you need help, pause and get clear about why it matters to the other person. Think for a moment—what's in it for them, personally or in the bigger picture? When you ask, say their name and relate your request directly to their strengths or circumstances. Add one sentence about why this helps the group, the family, or the bigger mission. Make your ask not just a transaction, but a moment of genuine service and shared purpose. You'll not only boost your odds of a yes, but you’ll also build trust and goodwill for the future. Try personalizing and adding purpose to your next request.