The Hidden Power of Regret—And How It Freezes Decision-Making

You know the feeling—immediately after making a choice, a needle of doubt starts poking at you. Maybe you selected a new pair of sneakers, but on the walk home you see a flashy new style in another window. Or you finally submit a college application, only to hear someone mention a scholarship you hadn’t considered. Regret, psychologists say, is a built-in feature of our brains; it’s what can help us learn—but also what can freeze us in indecision or poison us with dissatisfaction if left unchecked.

Regret has two faces. There’s 'anticipatory regret'—worrying before you choose, envisioning every disaster—and 'postdecision regret,' which sneaks in even after good outcomes, especially if you learn about a better option later. Studies show that the more choices we have, the more emotional energy we spend on regret, sometimes avoiding decisions altogether. It's this hyperawareness that you could have done better that can leave you stuck, second-guessing, or blaming yourself for results beyond your control.

Science gives us a solution. Regret becomes less paralyzing when you acknowledge it, limit your focus to a single reasonable alternative, and retrain your brain to look for what went well. This doesn’t erase disappointment, but it stops you from spiraling into inaction or endless self-criticism. Gratitude, learning, and forward movement make regret a stepping stone, not a roadblock.

When you're caught in that swirl of regret, pause and notice it for what it is—a normal, temporary signal instead of an enemy. Try focusing your comparison just on the most genuine alternative, rather than every distant 'what if.' After every important decision, take a moment to name three positive things it brought you, no matter how small. If something went wrong, use it as a lesson and jot down one adjustment for next time, not a list of personal failures. By letting regret have its moment but refusing to let it freeze you, you'll find yourself choosing more freely and moving forward with greater confidence.