Redefining Success—How to Set Your Own Rules and Standards

High school routines rarely suited every student—and one creatively stubborn young man decided he wouldn’t trade sleep, family, and sports for endless hours of homework. Instead, he made a respectful pitch to his teachers: he’d commit to in-class attention and skip the after-hours grind. A gamble? Absolutely—but it worked. The result? Not only did his grades hold steady, but anxiety vanished and he discovered a deep love for learning.

Later in life, that same instinct to challenge broken systems surfaced again, whether at startups, board meetings, or family events. He didn’t break rules merely for rebellion’s sake, but because he was committed to understanding and achieving the real purpose behind them. Sometimes, this led to pushback; other times, it won quiet victories and unexpected respect.

The lesson aligns with goal-setting theory: when metrics are misaligned with true purpose, motivation and wellbeing collapse. By setting your own bar—and communicating it clearly—you not only take responsibility for your growth but also free yourself from misapplied pressure. Deciding what success means for you is an act of self-leadership.

Start by questioning which expectations in your life seem out of sync with your real values or goals—maybe it’s how you “should” study, work, or spend your weekends. Define what outcome really matters to you, then map out how you might get there differently, even if it’s unconventional. Explain your plan to the people it impacts, and be clear about the risks and rewards. Track your progress by your own standards, not someone else’s. This is how you grow into who you really want to be. Try it once—and see how it feels to make your own rules.