You Get What You Ask For—Know Your Worth and Negotiate Like a True Self-Advocate

Early in her career, Fabiana successfully negotiated a $5,000 relocation package for a job move. Elated, she later discovered a colleague had requested—and received—$50,000 plus numerous extras. They both got exactly what they asked for. The only difference? The confidence and specificity of their requests.

That quiet shock turned into her self-improvement mission. She began preparing for every negotiation with better market research, a clear advocacy plan, and an honest assessment of what would make her proud or comfortable walking away. As her career progressed, this preparedness led to not just bigger paychecks and bonuses, but also meaningful equity shares, better work-life flexibility, and more respect from her peers—but only when she was willing to ask.

The science is clear: assertive self-advocates systematically outperform passive ones, not because they are confrontational, but because they show they value themselves. Behavioral economics research validates that clear, data-driven negotiation—paired with emotional awareness—leads to greater satisfaction and fairness for all parties.

Before your next negotiation, write down (in detail) exactly what you want, why you deserve it, and what data supports your request. Practice asking for it with confidence, using a clear and respectful tone. Decide beforehand what minimums you can accept and where your personal red lines lie. Go in knowing your value and dare yourself to stay committed to it—no matter what others at the table might ask for.