The Art of Prizing: Make Them Chase You Instead of the Other Way Around

Picture yourself stepping into an important meeting where you hope to win an opportunity—an internship, a buyer for your business idea, or even a partnership for a school project. Most people instinctively try to impress, offering details about themselves, eager to please and quick to chase approval. But over and over, the person with options, who doesn’t seem needy, captures more respect.

Next time, you try something new. You greet your counterpart warmly but mention you’ve only got a short window for this conversation—another meeting is coming up. Halfway through, instead of just pitching your strengths, you ask, with genuine curiosity, 'Out of all the possible companies/teams I could choose, what makes yours special? How do you work with partners like me?'

There’s a noticeable shift. Your counterpart leans forward, eager to explain, suddenly aware that they’re being evaluated as much as you are. It’s no longer just about whether you win them over. Now, they need to impress you too. If they attempt to push your limits (like rescheduling last minute or making you wait), you calmly suggest, 'Maybe we should reconnect when everyone’s available—my schedule is tight.' It’s clear you’re there by choice, not desperation.

Psychologically, this technique—known as 'prizing'—leverages deep human wiring. We chase what moves away, want what we can’t have, and value what’s hard to get. People respect and seek out those who quietly demonstrate their own worth; they’re less likely to chase the eager performer.

When you're entering a negotiation, meeting, or even trying to form a group, try signaling your value—maybe by mentioning your limited schedule or multiple opportunities, without any arrogance. Ask the other person to explain what makes them a great fit, and mean it. And if you're not treated with respect or serious intent, show willingness to withdraw, knowing that walking away is a sign of confidence—not defeat. This flips the power dynamic and increases your value in their eyes, so put it into practice and observe how people respond.