How to tell real market demand from nice words and polite stalling

A startup team developed a new scheduling tool and demoed it to managers at a well-known company. The meeting went extremely well—or so it seemed. The managers complimented the features and even said they’d 'love to use it when it’s live.' Feeling validated, the team returned to their office full of optimism, but weeks passed with no follow-up, no trial sign-ups, and no referrals. Confused, they realized they'd fallen into the 'friend zone'—a false sense of progress based on nice words instead of measurable advances.

Contrast this with their next approach: rather than basking in appreciation, they asked the next manager, 'Would you be willing to pilot this with your team next month?' The response was still polite but honest: 'We’re committed to another tool for at least a year.' That negative signal stung, but it gave the team something actionable. When a third contact said, 'Sure, let's trial it next Friday, and you can talk to my assistant who coordinates our workflows,' the team finally had a real advance. There was time committed, a stakeholder introduced, and a clear next step scheduled.

In practice, only actions reveal genuine demand. In behavioral economics, this is reflected in the concept of 'skin in the game.' Compliments and indefinite promises carry no cost; true commitments involve risk or resources. This principle applies in many settings—schools, offices, and social groups alike. By identifying what people truly give up (time, money, reputation), you spot sincere interest and avoid the trap of wishful thinking.

When someone seems interested or excited, calmly ask for a concrete next step: will they trial your solution, give you feedback on a draft, or introduce you to someone else? Notice if the request means they must give up time, reputation, or money. Trust these commitments over well-meaning words, and begin keeping track of real advancement separately from compliments. Each small win or rejection teaches you something far more valuable than another polite smile, so try pushing for one measurable step in your next important conversation.