The seductive danger of fluff—why future promises are worth much less than you think

Conversations about innovative ideas are filled with exciting promises. Friends say they’d absolutely sign up. Potential customers exclaim they 'always' have this pain or 'would' totally use your new platform. It’s easy to believe you’re onto something big when everyone is so enthusiastic—on paper. But time and again, what happens in the real world is a letdown: those who raved about the idea are slow to act, and your shiny new service launches to crickets.

That’s because most future-facing statements are 'fluff.' They’re shaped by politeness, optimism, and even self-delusion. People want to sound supportive and imagine themselves as proactive solution-seekers, so they overstate what they’d do. But their past is full of telling omissions—they have workarounds, haven’t searched for options, and have lived with the problem longer than they admit. 'I might buy it' is just a thought; 'I bought it last month' is a fact.

Clever listeners anchor responses to real events. Instead of asking, 'Would you…?' or 'Do you always…?', they lean in and ask, 'When did that last happen?' or 'How did you actually handle it?' The shift seems trivial but draws out entirely different information: concrete details replace vague aspirations, emotional outbursts make sense in context, and the line between true pain and mere annoyance becomes visible.

It’s a classic trap in both business and everyday life to take fluffy promises at face value. Behavioral research supports the idea that what people do is far more powerful than what they say they’ll do—these are called 'revealed preferences.' Whenever you’re chasing insight, insist gently on specifics, and the truth will surface.

Next time you hear someone make a sweeping generalization or promise about what they would do, stop yourself from making assumptions, and ask about a concrete time when it actually happened. Listen carefully for the details that only come from lived experience, and if there’s a lot of heat in their reaction, gently poke until you find out exactly why. This approach transforms fuzzy feedback into useful evidence, helping you see what’s real and what’s just wishful thinking—so don’t be afraid to steer the conversation towards the past.