The secret power of making meetings personal unlocks real debate and connection

At first, the weekly product team meetings felt just like the rest—people slumped in, eyes on their screens, waiting for the agenda to roll out. But then, something shifted. The new team lead kicked off by inviting everyone to share a quick story from their weekend, not just a ‘how are you?’ but what they actually did or something they enjoyed. The first few times, people hesitated, unsure if this was just more forced fun. Over a few weeks, the ice broke: someone shared biking with their kids, another a burnt casserole disaster, and another a new puppy chewing their shoes.

Laughter started to ripple through the room. As the meeting shifted into technical debates, there was less talking over each other and more curiosity: “You mentioned biking last time—how was the ride?” Even tough discussions about deadlines felt less like battles and more like problem-solving together. The lead noticed people volunteering ideas without prompting, asking each other’s opinions, and even staying a couple minutes after just to chat.

A survey soon revealed higher scores on team trust and engagement. The research was clear, too: socioemotional communication—sharing personal moments in a group—lowers social barriers and boosts open exchange. By routinely leading with a human moment, the team built a culture where disagreement was safe, ideas surfaced sooner, and camaraderie carried into every tough negotiation.

Try this in your next meeting: Before talking about work, invite everyone to share one non-business highlight—maybe what’s happening at home, a favorite book, or a recent mini-adventure. Start the round yourself with something genuine, not just polite. Listen to each person and respond with curiosity or a smile, even if it’s just a few words. Then, as you transition to the main agenda, notice how the mood is lighter and people are a touch more engaged—ready to share, debate, and connect. Give this a shot, even if it feels unnatural at first. The change in group energy will surprise you.